The Night I Got My Mother In Law High

Those of you who have read of the adventures with my very conservative mother in law – Deborah – you know how important this post is to me. The glory I’m currently experiencing from typing these words is insurmountable.

Last weekend I went to Seattle and visited one of my former cheerleaders from High School. I needed to see her, it had been 10 years since I visited her in NYC. A single workaholic, she is the type of friend that never forgets your birthday. Every year I get a birthday card in the mail from her (no matter where I live). We are both workaholics. So our weekend together was super chill. We visited the Museum of Pop Culture, day drank at the Old Stove Brewery near Pike’s Market, checked out some graffiti (per my request), and then decided to visit a dispensary for the first time together. I dropped all of my travel money at the dispensary.

The salesman talked me into purchasing cannabis lube among other things that I could bring on my flight home. The cannabis lube is absorbed through mucous membranes in the vagina. I’m super curious about this high! Sadly, I had all of this shit in my carry on…and of course they frisk the black guy with dreads directly in front of me at airport security. Fucking bullshit. Privilege in America is when you’re a white woman loaded with edibles going through TSA.

For nearly 10 years I constantly struggled to get this woman in a relaxed and non-competitive state around me. Literally, one year ago, it finally started to happen. I think she eventually realized I gave zero fucks about her platter collection, and which fork was which when I set the dinner table.

Last night the in-laws stayed at our place for the evening. There was a huge winter storm brewing and we were getting ready to go out to my brother in law’s 40th birthday party. Deborah asked me to do a smokey eye on her and I was flattered. How nice, what a nice compliment from her. So as I was doing the smokey eye I asked her if she wanted an edible. She couldn’t read the packaging because she didn’t have her glasses on. I told her it was of the herbal variety and she gobbled that shit up with no hesitation. I felt bonded to her. I felt happy for the first time with her. It was nice.

Later my Dom in Washington D.C. had texted me to see where the evening with the in laws was headed. The conversation went a little like this….

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-Vix

 

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